Three Biblical Truths About Real Friendship
Last night I sat on a Zoom call with fifty women. Women of different ages, unique backgrounds, a variation of history but all there for the same reason. We want to have healthy friendships. I mean, it’s not that all fifty of us were going to become the best of friends. In fact, many desired just one. But we gathered to seek the mind of Christ and the wisdom of the gospel around the topic of FRIENDS.
The content and tools shared were good. In fact, I’ll pass a few along here. But as I sat on my sofa this morning, coffee in hand reflecting with notes scribbled on my journal, there was another message that came to me. It was one of personal hope. A glimmer of possibility in a world jaded by dashed expectations. It was the gathering of women to help each other out. A diverse group of women willing to come together in vulnerability with a small cry for help and raised hand that said, “I need a friend.” “I want to be a better one, too.”
What about that creates optimism in me? For starters, honesty. A real response that isn’t postured with pretending that life is fine and full and you have it all together. I mean, didn’t you see my last gal pal post on Instagram? #squadgoals (eyeroll). And lastly, honesty. No pretense or peacocking that says look at me, but rather a heart that says, come with me and let’s figure this out together. Nothing to prove, only something to give.
Perhaps if we all let down our guard HONESTLY confessing our desire for friends mixed with hesitation because of other attempts that have failed or bridges burned, true community could be created and friendships would represent more healing than hurt.
Three biblical truths about real friendship:
1. The cross is history’s most heroic act of friendship.
Jesus wants us to view the cross in terms of friendship. On the night before he died, as he explained the meaning of the cross to his disciples, Jesus said,
“greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
The cross is certainly where Jesus bore the wrath of God in our place. But it is also, very personally, a relational act of friendship. Through His death, Jesus expressed the deepest love for His people. He did not die for an unspecified humanity; He died for specific people. He died for those He considered His dear friends. He died for you, and He died for me.
2. The First Problem in the World Was Not Sin but Solitude.
At each step of the way when God created the world, He pronounced that everything was “good.” But then once he created Adam, a different statement was made: something is not good.
“It is not good that the man should be alone”.
This was before sin had entered the world. Adam was not yet complete; he needed community. He needed a friend.
3. Friendship Shows the World That We Belong to Jesus.
When this lonely world of broken relationships sees women of faith filled with friendships—imperfect friendships, to be sure, but relationships filled with true repentance and forgiveness—then they will know that something has come from above. They will see that our talk of Jesus is real.
“by this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” ~ John 13:35
So in a world full of ‘look at me’ girls, will you join me and be a ‘come with me’ girl?