“Sadness does not sink a person. It’s the energy that one spends trying to avoid sadness that does.”

 

So what do you do when you are sad?

 

[1.] I admit it.

 

It’s culturally hip these days to suggest positive thinking: “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” But in fact, studies show that those who suppress emotions of sadness actually fester unhealthy habits like overeating and a strong stress response. Negative emotions can actually countermand our rational thinking. But sadness can also have its benefits. The only way to discover the upside of life is to have walked the downside a time or two. To move forward, we must acknowledge something made us sad. Something was lost, disappointing or even hurtful. It happened. We can’t put on happy all the time by faking some sort of brave, tough face. But we, in fact, diminish ourselves, our emotions and our experiences by denying the reality of sadness. What sadness knows is that she is only part of a greater plot with a happy ending. The challenge for me is accepting that and finding the courage to finish the story.

 

 

[2.] I phone a friend.

 

Being sad is common, but not always socially acceptable. I mean who wants to be that girl? My friend, Courtney, says buried feelings don’t die. And she is right. One of the best things I can do when I am feeling low is totally counter-intuitive: practice that courage again. But this time by reaching out. Phoning a friend and sharing sad emotions is key for me. But don’t call just any friend. You have to dial your 3:00 AM friend.