I must confess that I’m not much of a gardener, but I do love what gardening can teach us about relationships. Just as a garden requires diligent care to prevent weeds from overtaking it, relationships need tending to prevent the bitter roots from taking hold. The process of reconciliation and healing isn’t always easy, but allowing bitterness to spread deep within our lives is far worse. Allow me to share a personal experience to illustrate this truth.

My sister-in-law, Lindsey, and I are often mistaken for blood sisters. We both love God, cherish our families, and share similar interests. However, despite these shared interests, there were periods, especially in our first decade as sisters-in-law, when we found ourselves at odds.

Initially, this tension was small, like a tiny sprout with a shallow root. But left untended, it started growing deeper and wider, causing tension within our family. Eventually, we reached a critical point where we had to decide whether to mend our relationship or allow it to crumble.

Our entire family desired a positive outcome, which you’d think would have made reconciliation an easy task. However, years of accumulated hurts and misunderstandings had created a significant barrier. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and painful.

Our situation is not unique. Bitter roots can easily take hold in relationships, and they’re not always easy to spot until they’ve grown deep.

The wisdom of Hebrews 12:15 provides a solution. We are called to ensure that no one falls short of the grace of God and to prevent the growth of bitterness that can cause trouble and harm. This means extending the same grace that we’ve received from God to those who have offended us.

Yes, feeling wronged hurts. There’s no denying the pain that comes from bitter roots. Yet, there’s a larger invitation if we have eyes to see, revealing God’s plans and heart even amidst our suffering. It’s in these times that we’re called to keep our hearts open to the grace of God, acknowledging that the same grace covers our offenders. In doing so, we uproot bitterness and deny it a place to grow, fostering healing and reconciliation instead.

Just as a garden requires diligent care to prevent weeds, our relationships need tending to keep bitterness from taking root. Today, examine your heart. Are there bitter roots there, quietly growing deeper amidst the busyness, distractions, and hurts? Though it may be uncomfortable and painful to address these wounds, open your heart to God’s grace and invite Him to uproot your bitterness, cultivating flourishing relationships in your life.